Yeah, as the title clearly says, Michael is the devil. My brother and I completely loathe him. He's a freshman (I'm a sophomore) at my school, and he's the most annoying prep (and I don't use that label lightly...only to people who I KNOW are stupid, only out for popularity, and love to make fun of people for no reason) you would ever meet. First of all, he's completely brainless, and second, he's the kind of person you want to stab in the face with a steak knife...repeatedly.
About 3 days ago, he came into class wearing an entirely pink shirt, so I asked him (politely, not offensively) why he was wearing a pink shirt. He then said "why are you wearing black?" in a rude voice, and I said it was because black is my favorite shade. Then he said "well, pink is MY favorite shade" (yes. he's so stupid he has to repat things that I say so he thinks he knows what he's talking about), and I said "pink isn't a shade. Pink is a color." and left it at that.
The next day, he came into class and wouldn't stop bugging me about my appearence. Then came the weekend, and yesterday he came in and said "did you smoke any crank this weekend?" to which I explained how I was straight edge (I don't drink/do drugs/sleep around), and he and his friends just laughed. He kept bothering me for the rest of the period, just like the past day that I had seen him. And so you see, he is annoying. I hadn't known him at all before I had asked him about his pink shirt, and my brother told me about him (they're the same age, and my brother said that Michael is rude and annoying, and he won't stop making fun of you, and when he does, he does it for no particular reason).
So today, I came prepared. Since he has the IQ of a grain of sand (well, maybe I'm giving him too much credit...the sand is smarter), I worked out a few things that I would say to him, since I knew he was going to attempt to make fun of me again today. And sure enough, I was right. In about the middle of the class, I stood up to hand my paper to our teacher, and he said "hey Renae!" (I'm surprised he's learned my name so quickly) "are you drunk", and continued saying things like "did you get drunk last night" while I was standing and when I sat down (he obviously doesn't have a high enough IQ to remember what I said to him about me being straight edge).
So then I looked at him and I said (this isn't exactly what I said, but it's mostly right): "dude, seriously. You've got to learn to step beyond the boundaries of the stereotypes that you live your life behind. Who are you to judge someone by their looks? You think that just because I wear black a lot that it means that I'm some sort of freak, derelict, or satanist, but I'm not, okay?" to which he replied "yeah, right, thanks for the lecture" (and all of his little friends laughed). Then one of the girls at his table (who actually IS my age) said "well, someone told us that you like to smoke crack", and I replied "who was it? him?" and she actually said that it was. Then the rest of them were dumb enough to laugh at me. So after awhile of Michael, his stupid friends and I going back and forth, I was "winning" I guess you could say, and Michael couldn't think of anything else to insult me with. There was about 5 minutes left in the period (my very last period), and he said "well, we know you give your dog oral sex" (that's not word for word, but it was something along those lines). I don't have a dog. I haven't had one since I was about 8. So I simply said "yeah, I don't have a dog", and when he couldn't think of anything else to say, he said "....yeah you do" and all of his stupid friends laughed with him! Ha!
So when the bell rang, one of the girls in my class came up to me and said "you sounded really intelligent!" and was just congratulating me on my verbal assault, lol!! That was the best feeling in the world :P And my friend Leslie (who is also in that class) said "you know, if you and Michael got into a fistfight, I'd jump right in there with you!" (haha, obviously I'm not the only one who hates him).
And just 5 minutes ago, my brother got home (freshmen get home later than all the other grades) and he knocked on my door and said "I heard about your verbal beating on Michael" (LOL!!!) Apparently, another one of the girls in my class (a girl named Danica) was in my brother's class later that day, and she went up to him, and here is what my brother said their conversation was:
Danica: Did you know that your sister got into a fight today? Bro: What?? Danica: Yeah, she sounded really smart! And it was this big verbal thing between her and a bunch of other people, but she won!
HAHA! As for round one of this ongoing war, I think I'm winning so far :)
So yeah, today was a pretty damn good day! Actually, I don't think I can thing of anything that has gone wrong yet today.....**knocks on wood** lol
Denis Leary "Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces"
"I'm gonna open up my own place. Open my own restaurant and get away from you people. I'm gonna open up a restaurant with two smoking sections; Ultra and Regular, ok? And we're not gonna have any tables or any chairs or any napkins. None of that pussy shit. Just a big wide open black space. And all we're gonna serve is raw meat, right on the bone! And only men are going to eat there, naked men, sitting around a big giant camp fire, and no men's room either. You have to piss, you mark your territory like a wolf! And if some guy has a heart attack from eating too much meat, fuck him, we throw him in the fire! More meat for the other meat-eaters! Yeah!"
